It’s been a tough year for Swifties.
First, there was the debacle involving tickets to Taylor’s Eras Tour, which divided the fan base between those who demanded accountability from their queen and those who insisted Swift wasn’t to blame for the outrageous prices and lack of availability.
Now, just as the dust was beginning to settle from the civil war that tore Swiftie Nation asunder, the Taylor faithful are being forced to contend with a new scandal.
We’re talking, of course, about Healy-gate.
Yes, you may not like it, but it looks as though there’s a very good chance that Taylor and Matty Healy are dating.
It’s possible that the longtime friends are just spending a lot of time together platonically, or that they’re collaborating on new music.
But even that would too much for fans who find the 1975 lead singer to be a repugnant boor who’s constitutionally unworthy of Taylor’s company.
In many ways, Healy would be a rather surprising choice for Swift.
He’s an unrepentant boozer who’s rarely photographed without a cigarette in his hand, and his fondness for “edgy” humor has some fans demanding that Taylor publicly distance herself from Matty.
Generally, Taylor prefers a classier (and taller) breed of gent, and her apparent infatuation with Matty has left Swifties across the globe scratching their heads in disbelief.
On the surface, it looks as though Matty couldn’t be more different from Joe Alwyn, to whom Taylor was engaged before the two of them called it quits earlier this year.
But Matty has one important thing in common with Joe — and with Tom Hiddleston, and Calvin Harris, and Harry Styles …
… In fact, he shares this in common with every man that Taylor has dated in the past decade:
Matty is from the UK, which seems to be a requirement for dating Taylor these days.
Yes, Taylor hasn’t dated an American since she was briefly involved with Connor Kennedy back in 2012.
Other than Calvin — who’s from Scotland — all of her boyfriends since then have been British.
It’s anyone’s guess why Taylor has such a strong preference for English blokes.
Maybe it’s the accent, the sense of style, or the more gentlemanly behavior so often associated with the Brits.
Perhaps it’s the fact that they never wear basketball shorts, or call people “bruh,” or eat sandwiches where the bread is replaced with two pieces of fried chicken.
Whatever the case, she might have missed the mark a bit with Matty.
Sure, he’s British, but we doesn’t seem to possess the chivalrous charm of some of Taylor’s previous suitors.
Maybe Healy is more charismatic behind closed doors — but if he wants to convince Swifties that he’s worthy of their queen, he should probably stop giving envelope-pushing podcast interviews.